The earliest
memory I have about my father, Gowrish Kaikini, is that, whenever I
went to play on the beach I would return home and he used to make me
stand on the platform and give me a bath and checked if the salt water
was totally cleaned he would lick me once to see if I still tasted of
salt! If yes he would wash me once more.
I was
never “scared” of him, as usually children feel towards their fathers
in the conventional way. He was always there for me.
Gowrish
Kaikini (Atheist, writer) |
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He lived
up to the ripe age of 92 and till the end he was an atheist. Some young
atheists grow old to become believers. Not my father. I remember, when
I went to visit U R Ananthamurthy when he had a by pass surgery, he
had curiously asked “was your father an atheist till he died?” It
was an interesting question at an interesting point. Till the end my
father never bothered god. He used to say “he must be very busy with
issues like war, famine etc, why bother him?” He was an atheist in
a place like Gokarna, surrounded by strong believers.
Another
interesting thing about my parents is that theirs was a love marriage.
In those days it was very rare. It was also a late marriage. He married
when he was 40 and I was born when he was 45. He married his student.
He was teaching her to pIay the harmonium. My mother said that as he
was teaching he held her fingers to guide them on the harmonium. Very
romantic!
My father
was also my teacher in high school. There was not much difference at
school. He was affectionate and nice to all the students.
His death came smoothly. Mentally I had sent
him earlier than his physical end.
He has
become so much a part of my mind that physical detachment was not complicated
when he died. He lives in me.
(As told to Prathibha Nandakumar)
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